Disheartened in Week Two of Quarantine

It’s time for some honesty: I have been having a rough time in Ukraine lately. No, nothing out of the ordinary has caused my optimism to disappear; in fact, I can’t quite put my finger on the cause of my perpetual sour mood. So, I’ve made a list of possible reasons and will try to communicate each of them. Throughout this blog, I feel that I’ve maintained a fairly positive attitude and it has been reflective of my state. However, this one will take a turn, so I apologize up front.


Possible Reason #1: Three Weeks of Quarantine

According to Peace Corps volunteers who have been in Ukraine longer, this semester should supposedly be one of the most productive semesters with students. We’re able to see the results of exposing students to a native-English speaker and finally understanding the Ukrainian school system. I’ve started developing strong relationships with students and they understand my expectations. However, with this four week break from school (we had one week of Fall break before the quarantine was announced), I haven’t seen my students in almost a month. When we return to school, we will have less than a month before the holidays to finish the semester. Bottom line: I miss my students; after all, they’re the reason I’m here.



Possible Reason #2: Brrr… Winter Weather is Here

It’s muddy, cold, wet, and I hate walking and standing in this type of weather for long periods of time. In the states, there are certain things I can count on: any building I entered would most likely be heated to a comfortable temperature, my mode of transportation is heated, sidewalks and paved roads make it easier to avoid mud, and I rarely had to stand outside for long periods of time waiting for a bus, train, or taxi. Yes, it’s cold here. But not only is it cold outside, it’s cold in most buildings. In fact, I can’t think of any other building I’ve been in other than the Peace Corps office that is actually heated to a comfortable temperature. School is freezing and stores are certainly cold, too.



Possible Reason #3: One Year Mark

I’ve learned a lot in the 14 months of living here. However, there are other emotions wrapped around the one year mark. For example, questions start to arise such as: Have I been making a difference at all? Am I accomplishing anything? What does my future hold after Peace Corps? The past year has certainly sped by, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not scared of the year to come. I still have another year here and that’s daunting.



Possible Reason #4: Saying Goodbye to Group 33 Friends

Group 33, which is the group of volunteers one year ahead of my group, is officially leaving Ukraine beginning next week. I have worked, cried, laughed, and traveled with these volunteers. It’s really the first group of volunteers that I have become close with and is leaving. It is difficult to say goodbye to such good friends – especially when they were the people I looked up to as a new volunteer. They have been my mentors… I have learned so much from many of these volunteers. Next Tuesday, I will say goodbye to many people from this group who will be exiting Ukraine by the end of next week. I don’t like this pattern of saying goodbye.



Possible Reason #5: Holidays Around the Corner

For Thanksgiving, it looks like I’ll be headed to Western Ukraine for the first time. Larisa, my friend from Yakima whom I shared a room with in Philadelphia at staging, will be hosting me for Thanksgiving. It looks like it will be just the two of us – which is exactly how we want it. We need some girl time. It should be fun. But, knowing that I’ll miss another Christmas from home doesn’t necessarily sit well. On a positive note, I am scheduled to arrive in PDX on December 31 at noon and will be home for nineteen days – it should be an awesome trip! I can’t explain how much I’m looking forward to this trip… Even though I have some great plans for the holidays, it still reminds me that I constantly miss family, friends, and home.



Possible Reason #6: Where Is Everyone?

During the winter, as the weather becomes more difficult to travel in, people in Ukraine tend to stay in their homes. During the summer and autumn months, I’m regularly meeting with students, neighbors, and babushkas throughout the neighborhood. However, as winter sets in, people seem to stay locked away inside their houses. All of a sudden, it’s no longer safe to be outdoors after 4pm because it’s so dark and no one is in the streets. Makes for long evenings… (especially during quarantine time).



Even though this seemed like an extended complaint session, it has helped me own up to my thoughts, reflect on my mood, and think about the positive plans I have in the near future. To end on a good note, here are some things I’m looking forward to or recent happenings that I am thankful for:

1. I had a fabulous birthday party in Kharkiv! Complete with nearly thirty friends, a free cake, delicious Italian food, fun games, and a club later in the evening.


2. Awesome Halloween party in Kharkiv! Here's a picture from Halloween (costumes from left to right: Drag Cop, Field mouse, Flapper, Mr. Stay Puft from Ghostbusters, Gladiator, and a Lion):

One more picture from Kharkiv - we're exploring the city:

3. Next Week: Warden Training (once again) in Crimea

4. School will begin Monday, November 23

5. Thanksgiving in L’viv with Larisa

6. Trip home for Holly’s wedding (December 31 – January 18)

7. Planning a Spring Break trip with Brian and Justin to Italy

Thank you for supporting me throughout my highs and lows in Peace Corps...
Take care,
Love Nat